Hey, thanks for grabbing this book. I am Mart Laven, 42 years old, from Holland and on a quest to find true happiness. I started writing this book 2 years ago before I left Holland to go to India to do some soul searching. 2 years ago I gave up many of my addictions except smoking. Which i still do and am thinking of quitting this too. Throughout my life i suffered from mental problems which got worse during COVID 2019. I suffered from mental and sexual abuse, low self esteem. I traveled a lot but never gave up using drugs and gambling. Until 2 months ago and i am finding my truth and dignity back. I finally dare to speak up, which I have not done for a long time. I battered myself with shame and was anxious, and still am at times. I believe not all problems were mine. I pushed my childhood 1-6 years in a corner, and which was blocked by medication which was given to me from my age of around 18 years. At the age of 40 i decided to put all my memories in this diary like book, good and bad. Now i slowly can feel and see truth and with this book, open raw, honest, I hope to inspire you to write yours.